Who Has the Room’s Attention?

Attention is a working resource

As a facilitator, I think about attention in the same way a project leader thinks about time or budget. The room has a limited amount. Where it goes influences what becomes possible.

Giving focus is more than staying silent. It means making another person’s contribution easier to receive. Taking focus is more than speaking loudly. It means offering something clear enough that the group knows why attention should move.

Healthy groups can do both. People step forward when they have something useful, and they step back when another contribution needs the room.

A balanced meeting is not one where everybody speaks for exactly the same time. It is one where attention follows the work rather than status or habit.

The sources behind the practice

Give and Take appears in Yes, And by Kelly Leonard and Tom Yorton, with the exercise indexed at print page 71. Participants practise giving focus to another person, taking focus and then returning it. The book connects the exercise with ensemble work and more productive brainstorming and strategy conversations.

Practiced Spontaneity: Resources, Theory and Supplemental Information by Izzy Gesell includes the principle ‘Make your partner look good.’ I do not read that as empty praise. I read it as a practical responsibility to help another person’s useful contribution become visible.

For a corporate group, I adapt the exercise by using eye contact, an open palm and body orientation. Touch is unnecessary. I also make opting out of movement completely acceptable.

What the exercise reveals

Some participants are comfortable taking focus but hesitate to give it. Others support everyone and rarely let their own contribution become visible. A few give focus so subtly that the receiver does not know it has moved.

These patterns often resemble meeting behaviour, but I avoid turning them into fixed labels. The exercise is useful because everyone can try the less familiar action immediately.

The group also discovers that focus needs acknowledgement. If someone offers me the room and I ignore the cue, the handover fails. If I receive it, contribute clearly and then return or redirect it, attention begins to flow.

Use it before idea generation

I like this practice before a brainstorming or design discussion, especially when the group contains different levels of seniority. It creates a shared physical language before the content becomes important.

During the real discussion, the facilitator can use lighter versions of the same moves. A person can say, ‘I want to bring the customer point that Aisha raised back into focus,’ or, ‘Marco has the relevant data for this part. Marco, would you take us through it?’

The goal is not to choreograph every meeting. It is to give the group more choices than interrupting, waiting or hoping the chair notices.

Keep it inclusive

People differ in comfort with eye contact, movement, visual cues and public attention. I explain the purpose before the activity and offer seated participation. A verbal cue or a clearly raised hand can replace any physical gesture.

I also avoid using the exercise to force quiet participants to perform. Giving someone focus is an invitation, not a trap. They may pass it on.

That boundary makes the practice more relevant to work. Real collaboration includes the ability to offer, receive and decline attention responsibly.